Paulina says: Is there something you was building/launching/creating/planning ----then fate/life/disaster stepped in and scattered and derailed it/you....leaving you somewhere you've never been; somewhere you don't recognise -somewhere -somewhere -somewhere far far away from who you thought you was??? If that is you -its time to crea8 again -Amen!!!
Its time to accept what has gone and let it GO, -----be they broken dreams, a broken heart, broken body etc ---but crea8 you must -and NOW!!!
The thing is....there are some trials that one goes through that rocks you soooooo hard, sooo hard to the core, to the bone ---that cuts sooo deep ----that it can only have come/be permitted from above!!!
These trials take you from: happy and selfish, content and buzzing, life-and-soul-of-the-party, sexy & free, sassy and fun, excited about an idea/business/service/things & stuff that feel sooo right, sooo hopeful, sooo fabulous ----------to falling, ------to drowning -----to hurt ----to pain ----to nothingness -----to barrenness ------to shame --------to lost ways, ------to low valleys -------to dry bones ------to ground zero!!!! And they/it can last for yearssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!
.......................Then you start looking around ---and you start noticing things you never noticed before!! You start feeling things you never felt before. You start to appreciate and value people you never valued before.......
You are sooo humbled, sooo broken, sooo come-apart ----that you can no longer fake it ---AND your knees hit the ground like never before ---because for the first time ever in your life, you really realize --you don't know where you are, don't really know who you are, don't really know where you are going --- even though you once knew --you no longer know -NOW!!! -----AND most importantly........you are tired and you can no longer run from God,----and know that ---apart from HIM you can do nothing!!!!!!
And because you belong to God --his WILL now becomes your will.. And because you no longer see him as a cruel God -you start to trust him more ---and rest in him -more....Selah!!!
-Then something truly magical happens ---you start getting to know God, to delight in him ----that very same God who has been there forever, gently waiting for you to come to him...... and then you fall in love, fall in healing, and in peace ---Amen!!!
The transformation then startsss.... Painful but real, breaking but a coming together --of extreme deep, layered healing -Amen.. Sooooo you might feel exposed and ashamed --but it produces peaceful sleep (at long last)....... giving you beauty for ashes .....getting rid of fears and wrong thinking Selah!!!!!!
Plus........that silly need to be SOMETHING, or someone, or whatever ......no longer matters. The desperate need for people to see you a certain way no longer matters -and all of a sudden there is maturity --a level of maturity which makes you feel sooo alive but also ---set apart, soo much closer to God, --allowing you to tap into the higher you ---like you sort of kind get it --allowing you to see the bigger picture!!!
You find that most of what you held true is/was wrong.. That somehow you was mis-educated and your foundation needs to be built again -this time on the rock --our Lord and saviour Christ Jesus -Amen!!!!!
Sooooo you've been hidden; obscured, segregated /separated ---and your soooo called friends have all gone!!! And ...it feels like its been forever since you felt like yourself and it tarries.......oh my goodness it tarries but believe God --because things are about to change -Amen!!!
Now you are tired, ......battle-worn, ......a bit tatty, ......a bit shabby, ....a bit or a lot older!! Fatter maybe, less attractive in your own eyes, less youthful --maybe, less confident, less sure............. but your heart has alsooo been stretched, ---and you are now much closer to God than you've ever been -----and there is a new found lightness, a gentler, nicer you, an elegant --less needy you, an all seeing, less judgemental freer ---more loving you -Amen!!!
And even though the devil keeps reminding you about your *old* former life, --that *other* life when you had this and that, -----a lifestyle that afforded you a couple of holidays a year, when you had money and a few designer handbags et al ------BUT now, even though its painful [some times], and you are having to exercise FAITH that moves mountains [mercy]...........you know you would never want to go back... Because its NOW all about a new thing, a new level....and a new thing is a new thing...Selah!!
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and
rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19
You've grown tooo much. Suffered tooo much, seen tooo much, hurt tooo much, cried tooo much ---expanded tooo much, stretched to new levelss, a new capacity -----to quit and go back to the old...... Plus you kind of like you more now ---and God and only God can fill you up -Amen, ----and that's finely fine with you! No more fighting God Selah!!!!
Sooo what now my love? Be brave my dear!!! Know that even though the world has stayed the same -you are no longer the you of yesteryear, certainly not the you of three years ago!!!
Be brave -dare to dream again. Dare to believe God --the only constant in your life to come through for you -Amen!!!! Put your best foot forward by FAITH ----and crea8. Crea8. Crea8....Crea8.....
Remember, "The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live only as you can."
Though the devil keeps taunting, keeps telling you its toooo LATE, that its over for you..... Don't worry................ its not OVER. Not over at all my dear, its just beginning oooOOoo!!!
Don't be afraid, the bottom isn't going to fall out -again. The earth isn't going to be pulled from under you -again.... Your feet are firmly planted on the ground -Amen!!!
Plus....... lessons learnt means --you are now operating at a level ---with a truckload of wisdom and LOVE that blows even your own mind -Amen. But the biggest lesson of all, is not that you Love God but that God first loved you -Amen, ---and you now want soooooo much MORE than before!!!
Your new elevated status /largess means you now want to achieve sooo much, to build sooo much more, to crea8 sooo much more and give more (charity) -------and really ---that's what the journey/ the lessons were about odo... Because when you serve a big wonderful mighty gracious loving God, --small dreams/businesses/plans/ventures etc are not enough!!! Our God can and does sooo much more than that -his hands are not short -Amen!!!!!!
Sooo get up. Nobody cares if you're wearing the same clothes you wore three years ago. Nobody cares if you feel tooo old --your life is just beginning -my dear!!! Go forth!!!
Nobody cares if you've just come out of prison and your whole town has changed/moved/grown, and is now full to bursting with new buildings and people you don't recognise -no one cares --Go forth!!!
I don't care if you no longer have the vast contacts you used to have -most of them have moved on --anyway..Soooo go forth odo!!!!
Nobody cares if you feel socially awkward or shy ---just go out there and believe that the same God who brought/got you through the wilderness is the same God who will carry you the rest of the journey -Amen!!!! So LIVE, have FUN ---and LAUGH AGAIN -and go forth odo and be fierce .......Amen. xx
"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3